| Monday, September 14, 2009 |
| Human |
The best lessons I have learnt since turning 21, I learnt them all this week.
About mistakes.
About human character.
About friendship.
Which reminds me of life I have lived.
I did not like to be outdated, ignorant. I like to be in power of my destiny. I like to be in control.
But. I slipped up. After a longg time of making sure I don't.
I made a mistake.
I was untactful.
And I admit it.
I am finally human.
And I am thankful. That after the mistake, however big or small it may be, some friends stick around. They care. They support.
They may not be the most perfect person or most likable, but at least they were there when I need them, and hence they are the best friends I could have. Someone told me that I should not take friendship for granted. I will not take these friendships for granted. The people who stood by.
I learn now that I should not be afraid of how people think of me, and that if they decide that I am a bigger friend than my mistake, then I am thankful. But if my mistake is bigger, then it is fine. It's your decision to dislike or hate. It's just unfortunate that I lose the opportunity to get to know a potential good mate.
And human character. What if you took the high road and protect someone, announce to the whole world that it was only you, then suddenly they betray you. There is a thin line between being ignorant and spiteful. Am I unhappy? No. Was I unhappy? Yes. Do I wanna be petty about it? No. I do not want any of this mess no more, which is part of the reason why I like to keep my personal things on the downlow. The more one retaliates, the more mess he would create. Maybe they view it as being even. Alright. It is even then. Let's move on.
10 years down to road, when we reunite, we would all look upon this day. And we would think. How childish. How silly. How immature.
It is all part and parcel of growing up. I've learnt how to finally forgive. Because finally I have made a mistake. It is a sense of relief to be forgiven. Life lessons like these are difficult to sink in in a day, but once you were in the mess, you will always carry it around behind your shoulder, reminding you that you are human. I am not saying that I have fully grasped the concept, but I am getting there.
My ideals has to change because only then I can change. I have long been living like a robot with body of steel, but in the inside full with heart. My steel body protects me from being hurt. I have long been so strong, too strong. And independent. That I do not need anyone's help or care. Because I can take care of myself, thank you very much. But I now know I need people in my life, not just people I take random pictures and not speak to the next day, but people who will be there when I need them.
I am always playing it safe. But I have learnt that it is not a bad thing to be vulnerable sometimes or admit that you are wrong, people tend to be more understanding of the situation.
I admit that my life isn't perfect. It's not always black and white and right and wrong. Sometimes it's grey and I have to live with it.
I am human. And I like it that way. |
| posted by WnE @ 2:45 PM |
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